The long nail, red underwear and revolution
Dear educated friends,
ever since the flying pig arrived in China he has been learning all kinds of new things. For example many visitors are often puzzled why the Chinese boys (and girls) have such a long nail on the pinky. It’s usually only one long nail. The simple answer is that it is a cleaning tool. Like a vaccum, a cloth, a broom, a cat’s tongue or something else used to keep your environment and yourself clean. The long nail is used to clean away different kinds of shit. The biggest use is for cleaning earwax, another use is for cleaning away nose shit, something they are not embarassed or afraid to do out in the public. The opinion about what is clean and not clean differs very much. For example many Chinese always uses loads of paper to carefully clean the seat, table, chopsticks and bowl when they are in a restaraunt. The next minute they will spit on the floor, smoke a cigarette and ash on the table next to all the bone that they spit out and then go to the bathroom without washing their hands with soap and then continue to eat. The restaurant throws out all the dirty water right outside the entrance out on the pavement where it mixes together with dog pee, rat shit and baby pee. Instead of using dipers (which is a good thing, imagine how many dipers would be used if all the Chinese baby’s started to use them) they have a hole in the back of their pants, so they can go in time of need without having to wash the pants everytime. The flying pig feels sorry for the babies since their behinds must be very cold. He has seen them doing their business out in the streets, in garbage cans in the subways, outside their parents shop inside a big shoppingmall right in front of the elevator and pretty much all other places you can think of. Instead they think that many foreigners are dirty, since they wash the underwear together with socks or put down their backpacks on the floor. The dirtiest thing of all is of course the western toilets where you sit down on the closet seat where others people have been sitting before with their naked skin…
Another thing that the flying pig has learned is that it is good to wear red underwear every 12 years. If it’s the same Chinese year as when you where born, regarding to the Chinese animals, you will benefit from wearing red underwear since it will protect you from the bad luck that you will otherwise get. Sadly your dear friend will have to wait another 11 years before he can apply the rule. But he will let you in on a little secret (he is actually owning 3 pairs of red underwear, which he uses pretty often). Red is otherwise a color that seems to have another meaning than the flying pig is used to. Usually red indicates error, stop or something else that requires your immediate attention. In China it means other stuff. On the television a red arrow on the stock market means that the stock has increased, red traffic lights is an encouragment to watch out, but not necessarily stop. Usually the drivers just drive on in high speed if the road is clear. Red is also the color of the cap of the best bottled water you can buy. The name of this is Nongfu Spring. But since the flying pig is adapting to the society, he is only drinking boiled water from the boiling machines at the campus. Everything to save a few kuai. He also washes all his clothes by hand, instead of using a machine. Maybe most visitiors thinks that red stands for the blood of the heroes that died during the revolution or revolution itself, but this is probably something that China has been lacking for a long time. Just writing about it will probably get this blog blocked, but hey it’s already blocked! Hehe. But the more politics the flying pig talks with the young Chinese future, he realises that even if they feel strong about the one country China, they are also not happy and the patience is about to run out. So maybe there will be a new revolution started by the Chinese future that was born in the 80’s, something that the government predicted a long time ago. The flying pig is suspecting that that is was the Chinese government is saving all the money for.
Just a final remark so you don’t feel that the flying pig is against his beloved country mostly populated by Han people. The Flying Pig is enjoying his life in the east and feels that the potential is lurking beneath the western prejudice. In less than ten years the flying pig predicts that China will be an Utopia where the rice fields are endless and the water is less gray and people with bathe in wealth and joy. Salvation is near…
Sincerly Yours
Fei Zhu sitting and waiting to get some papers
