To Squat or not to Squat
Dear toiletdivers,
The flying pig just realized that he never wrote about the result of the sporty pig tournament. Apparently the Flying Pig and the Vegetable lost in the quarterfinals and not in the semifinals. The opponents were not bad and resembled Laurel and Hardy (in Swedish they are called “The Whole and the Half”, a very strange translation). The flying pig actually played with “Hardy”, when competing against the Siping campus two weeks ago. Anyways, the match was brutal and it was all over in a couple of minutes.
In the men’s semi finals the flying pig played against a tall guy that was ranked nr2 on the campus after the famous captain (who didn’t participate in this amateur tournament). After winning with 21-18 in the deciding set, the flying pig had hurt his right knee and hip so badly that he couldn’t walk up the stairs or squat without pain. Luckily the Fei Zhu has a western toilet in his room and therefore there was no need to squat while doing his business every morning. To squat or not to squat is a big question when foreigners visit Zhongguo. Especially when going outside of the bigger cities, where western toilets are as rare as a panda in the swimming around in svandammen. Many of our fellow laowai globetrotter friends are horrified of this and therefore avoids a visit to the beautiful country of PRC. The flying pig actually prefers the eastern toilets to the western toilets. He remembers discussing this with a Canadian older gentleman on a paradise island in Indonesia back in 2004. The gentleman who worked with sanitary stuff told the pig that squatting was actually better, since the body was designed to shit in that way. He also said that the western toilets caused a lot of problems when the western shitters grew older, since they would get a lot of strange diseases in their human rectums. According to a hyped popular source on the internet, the squatting toilets are also called “Natural-position toilets”, which further supports the theories of the Canadian gentleman. So if you want to reduce the occurrence or severity of hemorrhoids and possibly other colorectal disorders such as diverticulosis and appendicitis, you should start squatting.
Now it has been more than a week since the flying pig picked up his racquet and the hip has recovered, so now he can start squatting again. He lost the men’s single finals due to injury and was held back from participating in the game where the main campus came to the Jiading campus for a rematch.
Sincerely yours
Fei Zhu, the squatter
