January 2012
4 posts
Prepare for take off
Dear passengers,
this is your captain speaking. In a few hours we’ll be flying over the Great Fire Wall of China, so please fasten your seatbelts and prepare your VPN’s. Say goodbye to Sweden and welcome back to China! We’ve missed you.
Sincerely Yours Fei Zhu
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La vie, c'est le riz
Quand la vie est sombre et triste.
Quand il n'y a pas d'espoir, on voit une lumière.
Une lumière blanche et ovale.
Une lumière qui change la vie complètement.
Une grain de riz.
Les champs de riz, c'est le paradis!
Pour tout le monde, pour toi.
pour moi, pour le roi,
pour les mères, pour les pères,
pour les frères et pour les sœurs.
Aaaaaah!!! Quelle odeur!
Les Suédois n'aiment pas le riz.
Ils...
“Oh my pig! Is he back?”
September 2009
4 posts
Apartment hunting
The three friends Fei Zhu, Du Shen and Bai Xiong has now settled down in Shanghai. For the price of 5200 yuan per month, they have a 30 min walk to the Siping campus, a 15 min walk to the Chifeng Rd subway station, one bedroom each, a super big living room, a kitchen, a small bathroom and a washing machine. Finding an apartment in the area was not easy, but with the help of Mr Gary Q, they only...
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Back to Shanghai
Dear fellow passengers, this is your Fei Zhu speaking.
I am now up and flying somewhere above the yellow sea and estimated landing time is 13:50 Shanghai time. The weather is mostly cloudy with a temperature around 30°C. Fei Zhu’s two friends are up and flying on other air planes and Du Shen is expected to arrive one hour before and Bai Xiong one hour after yours truly. Soon adventure n°4...
The Plan n°2
After the departures of Mr Bai Xiong and Mrs Xiao Hu, the planning continued with the following schedule:
Thursday: Theme park day at Lotto World, a small version of Disneyland. The three lads spent the whole day there riding the Atlantis 2x, the French Revolution 3x, Gyro Drop 1x, Gyro Swing 1x, Bungee Drop 1x, Comet Express 1x, Fantasy Dream 1x, Bumper Cars 5x, the Adventures of Sinbad 1x, the...
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August 2009
8 posts
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Welcome to Seoul, Mr Du Shen!
Rumor has it that Mr Du Shen has now reached his first destination a.k.a. the country where they put melted cheese on everything. He has been struck by insomnia and looks a bit like Lou Reed but he’s still going strong as always. Mr Xiao Wangzi and his Mei Hu gave Du Shen a warm welcome and at the moment they are lost somewhere in the alleys of Seoul.
Fei Zhu is preparing to take off, as...
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The Plan
As a famous quote on the western toilet on the first floor in Mix Hostel in Chengdu says: -“If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail”. Then somebody has written his/her own version of the last part: -“you will have hell of an adventure!”. But the six brave friends have a plan all planned by the famous spider in the net.
Day 1: Celebrate the newly arrived in...
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July 2009
3 posts
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Hairdresser on fire
A couple of weeks ago the two friends went to cut their hair. For 15 kuai each, they got new nice haircuts! But before that they had to lie down and a lady that washed the flying pig’s hair very carefully also tried to use her fingers to get into the flying pig’s brain. It felt very comfortable and the pig is wondering why they don’t give this kind of service in the blue yellow...
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Excursion to the little tigers hometown
A few days ago the two friends decided to go to a beautiful place called Pengnan, which is the hometown of the little tiger. The flying pig was curious about the place and the little tiger finally agreed with some reluctancy to head southeast. Pengnan is a small dusty city about an hour by bus from Suining, Sichuan (referred as a village by the little tiger, but a village in the glorious country...
June 2009
6 posts
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Ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent
Dear landlords,
yesterday evening the Little Tiger and the Flying Pig were invited for dinner at Aunt number 4’s apartment. Aunt number 4 lives together with her husband and 3.5 five year old son in a spartan apartment in a quiet area close to the second best university in Sichuan. The apartment consists of a small livingroom and a small bedroom. They share a dirty kitchen with a neighbour...
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The time to hesitate is through...
Dear train passengers, a couple of days ago, Fei Zhu went on a 17 hour long roundtrip journey with destination Chongqing. The adventure began early in the morning with a thirty minute walk to the train station, where he took the fast speed train which was supposed to take 3.5 hours but ended up taking 4.5 five hours. The Flying Pig felt a bit frustrated since the normal train is supposed to take...
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Traffic Accident Sightseeing
When the flying pig was in Shanghai two years ago, he and Ai ren were amused by the fact that they saw traffic accidents almost each time that they went anywhere in Shanghai. One might think that the two youngsters lacked respect for the involved, but that’s another topic. Anyways they began to take take photos with themselves and crashed cars or people fighting over minor traffic accidents....
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25 Years And Runnin'
Dear passengers,
this is your captain speaking. We are scheduled for take off in approximately 10 minutes. We are expected to land in Chengdu 17:55 local time. The weather is hot and spicy, but still below 50°C. We bid farewell to Jiading and Shanghai for this time and expect to return in september. Until then we wish you a pleasant stay in Chengdu and a good day. Also a shout for the Tank Man...
May 2009
9 posts
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Asian Blood, Swedish Heart
that’s what I am made off. But the little said: -“Swedish blood ge pi, you have a Chinese heart!” Yi ge pi means a fart, one of the little tigers’ favorite expressions together with qu (go) ma de ge gui (mother’s ghost) and ri ni de xian ren (make love to your ancestors). As you can see Sichuan females are very spicy. Something that they are famous for. Spicy females...
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Maundy Thursday
Dear cineasts,
the last couple of days has been has been uneventful for the flying pig. Apart from studying his distance courses (the deadlines coming up soon) he managed to squeeze in an activity in his schedule. Thursday evening he went downtown to the main campus with Cai Cai (the vegetable) and Fan Fan (the meal). The three muskequeers had been chosen to be the judges of a movie/sitcom...
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Never Content
Dear mateys,
the flying pig has flown back to Shanghai after spending a week in Chengdu and then three days in Chongqing. In Chongqing he met Li or Leefer again. First time they met was in Jiuzhaigou a couple of weeks before the earthquake. The Flying Pig, The Lover and Jin’s ***** stayed at the hostel where Li worked. The second time the Fei Zhu heard about Li was when the Little Tiger...
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Swine flu Chengdu
Dear swines,
Today it’s been one year since the earthquake hit Sichuan, this is being celebrated by free entrance fees to all tourist attractions all around Sichuan. This is something that our dear friend Chen Long (Jackie Chan) took advantage of. Some lucky foreigners from the Mix hostel that joined the tour to the Panda Center this morning witnessed the love between Jackie the great and...
25 Years And Running
Dear passengers,
this is your captain speaking. We are scheduled for take off in approximately seven hours. We are expected to land in Chengdu 22:40 local time. The weather is super duper hot and we expect clear blue skies all the way baby. We also wish good luck to Mr Good Body heading for Asia (the country east of our favorite country) pretty soon. Also good luck to the Little Prince in the...
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To Squat or not to Squat
Dear toiletdivers,
The flying pig just realized that he never wrote about the result of the sporty pig tournament. Apparently the Flying Pig and the Vegetable lost in the quarterfinals and not in the semifinals. The opponents were not bad and resembled Laurel and Hardy (in Swedish they are called “The Whole and the Half”, a very strange translation). The flying pig actually played...
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The year of the YouTube block
Dear first class riot,
At the moment Fei Zhu is pretty bored with the everyday life in the birth city of Jacques Mayol. He feels something strange creeping around inside his body. It’s not a flu or something else that is blamed on the pigs (the flying pig actually thinks that this is a conspiracy set up by a particular government and it’s probably a military biological experiment gone...
April 2009
15 posts
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The AA formula
Dear royalists,
In the famous country owned by King Carl G, when eating out people usually order one dish each (don’t want any of our friends’ germs do we?). In the glourious country owned by chairman Fei Zhu, people usually order a lot of dishes together and share them. A little bit like a smorgasbord, which oddly is a Swedish term. But here all the dishes are in the middle of the...
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Valborg 2009
Dear Valborgers,
Your dear flying pig is currently living a quiet and peaceful campus life. Time stands still in Jiading as the world passes by faster than a Maglev train. The magpies are on their way down to the championship while the flying pig is spending his time in front of his little white apple. Instead of a champagne breakfast, he had his usual Chinese style pancake for breakfast on his...
The Hunchback of Shanghai
Dear mosquitos,
Last night the flying pig was kept awake by an annoying little buzzing thing. It tasted some blood from various places of his face and also both his hands, since the flying pig is well raised and sleeps with both hands on the blanket. But that’s a minor concern comparing to when the flying pig saw his reflection in the mirror this morning. Apparently he must have eaten...
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Big heads and puppy love
Dear delegates,
The last few days have flown by pretty fast. The Fei Zhu has been a bit stressed with some deadlines coming up. Also he needs to maintain his contact web, participate in the hitting a shuttle tournament (advanced to the semifinal’s in the men’s singles), catch up on some courses and plan his future. And yesterday he did some chittelichatting with some important people...
“Hey, Fei Zhu. It seems like you and I are the only ones on this journey that has...”
– Bai Xiong, somewhere in Southeast Asia, 2004
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Yes Man becomes Rambo
Dear fans,
Today the flying pig hasn’t been able to fly, since it’s raining in Shanghai. Also his big toes are bleeding below the nail on both the left and the right foot. He is expecting to be short of two big toe nails in approximately one week but let’s start from the beginning. Yesterday, yours truly entered the men’s singles tournament. He advanced pretty easily from...
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Top 8
Dear supporters, yours truly and Cai Cai had an easy game in the second round and beat the opponents with the numbers 15-5, 15-8. The flying pig is a bit confused at times because of the new rules. Last time the flying pig played, you could only score points while serving. But now it’s seems more like pingpong. Points distributed after every ball. Anyhow, Fei Zhu and Cai Cai has now advanced...
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Sporty Pig
Dear Athletes,
A couple of days ago your dear friend was walking on the main street of the campus. There he saw some people that wanted him to join in a competition. The flying pig thought about it and said why not? So he signed up for the men’s singles (since they didn’t have a category for Pig’s singles) and also men’s doubles with Cai Cai. Since he left his sporting...
The long nail, red underwear and revolution
Dear educated friends,
ever since the flying pig arrived in China he has been learning all kinds of new things. For example many visitors are often puzzled why the Chinese boys (and girls) have such a long nail on the pinky. It’s usually only one long nail. The simple answer is that it is a cleaning tool. Like a vaccum, a cloth, a broom, a cat’s tongue or something else used to keep...
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Dr Sweden vs. Dr China
Dear healthy friends of the flying pig,
the last couple of days your riceloving friend has been hibernating. It has started to rain rice again and life at the campus is quiet and peaceful, something that makes the pig feel comfortable, since he is not seeking any more adventures at the moment. The authority sightseeing is enough for the pig and here is a brief summary of what has happened over...
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The art of getting a X Visa in China
Your fellow friend the flying pig has been having a lot of problems getting the X Visa. The issues started in Sweden when applying for the visa at the Chinese Embassy and now it continues in China. Let’s start the story from the beginning… Two months before departure, your dear friend went to Stockholm and the Chinese Embassy to get the Visa. He had the Admission Notice, The JW202...
Oh Shanghai,
Dear roommates, the flying pig is now back in Jiading, Shanghai. Today he has experienced a driver who didn’t want to take money for driving him and xiaohu to the airport, a Chinese gentleman who smoked on the airplane, riding the Maglev train no faster than 301km/h, taken a bus on the Cao An highway (which is now finished, but still as slow because of the traffic lights), taken a public...
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to watch the red sky
Dear ricelovers,
your dear friend is now spending his last days together with the Little Tiger before he is heading for Shanghai to continue his flying adventures. The takeoff is scheduled in the morning of the day that is easily forgotten. Wish him good luck while he is flying around in the white/gray clouds of China trying to find Pudong, while whistling Ed Harcourt’s song Shanghai....
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The Pig is adapting
The listmania continues with the best things about the Pig’s Republic of Zhongguo!
The Fart and Burp Custom As a pig it’s very convenient for me to be in China. I can fart and burp anytime I want to. It doesn’t matter where I am or who is next to me, when the pig needs to go, he just let’s it out. Of course there is a downside to this wonderful custom. Unfortunately this...
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Calm days at the Mix →
The last couple of days your ricelovin’ friend hasn’t been up to any adventurous stuff, apart from the pig’s stomach who seemed to be flying around on it’s own little adventures. It has since then settled down and now the pig spends most of his days together with his Apple at the Mix hostel, where the Little Tiger is currently working as an adventure fixer. The owner of the...
March 2009
8 posts
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Let the Listmania begin!
Ever since your dear friend read an amazing book called High Fidelity, he has been obsessed by lists. To celebrate the pig’s obsession he will now give you the top3 list of the worst things about the wonderful Pigs Republic of China (PRC).
The Great Firewall of China Yours truly is greatly annoyed by the great firewall of China and it’s impact on his life. Everything seems to move a...
Closer to 40 than 37.5
A few days ago, the two friends Fei Zhu and Xiao Hu went on a train journey to Chongqing to visit the Chinese Traditional Doctor Baba Xiao Hu and his wife. The expected 4.5 hour Chinese time journey took almost 6 western hours, but the hardseat would be pretty comfortable if it wasn’t for some bendan people who apparently don’t understand no smoking signs. The carriage was filled with...